And then art made it come crumbling down. Well, slowly, but crumbling. I just had a monumental birthday and while going into it I had no issues, somehow it was a mostly unfortunate day. Emergency and expensive car repairs, late for work, and a frantic, tech ignorant patron taking up most of my time. But a man at the copier told me 8 was a sweetheart and frantic girl was conciliatory and polite when she left. Then I went home to a difficult situation with my other vocation as a caregiver.
Issues with Skillshare was on the next day's agenda as I worked on the project posted above. I finally finished it today and I almost like it. But it is pretty. I'll work on the video tomorrow. I'll have to be creative in my editing. I didn't tape it all.
Oh, what was the problem? Is this all I have to look forward to in the remaining time on this plane? Like the Peggy Lee song, "Is that all there is?" A big question pressing on mind and heart. I turned to prayer and meditation on the Tao for answers and nothing came ... No thoughts, just actions carried out without thought. I was drawn to order more of the black Stonehenge paper and selected a new image to paint. I realized as I was doing this in the space of 30 minutes that Art with a capital A is here for me. Suddenly I realized that I just didn't need to worry myself about worldly things. I was at peace. I could go about my daily routine without concern as long as I nurtured my creative self.
I know all this may sound heady or preachy or even sentimental but, for two days I held back the tears as I tried to make sense of my life. I thought about what I would have done differently as if thinking about it could change things. Oddly, it did because in making the changes in my daydream in a different life I realized that being an artist was the one thing I wouldn't have undone. But, I would have done it sooner and differently.
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