Still waiting

 Thanksgiving week and I am without inspiration or creative drive. I care because I think I should. My older sister and I will be sharing our version of Thanksgiving dinner; dinner cut of deli turkey, mashed potatoes, turkey gravy, cranberry sauce, sautéed French cut beans and apple pie. 

I'm still fatigued, back to my day job; barely getting through my 4 hour shifts. I shouldn't be back at work but I need the money. This isnt what I saw as my golden years. I can't even draw. Art is my sanity and I am on empty.  I was watching some of my videos. I'm a good artist. Was a good artist. I don't know that im an artist anymore. 

Last week someone tried to scam me. I was so happy; flattered for 3 minutes. I didn't trust Mary, the woman who wanted to buy one of my paintings. I told her when I got a PayPal payment I would send the artwork. Can. I use Venmo. I set up a venmo but kept throwing up roadblocks. Mary still wanted the piece. I sent her the address. I received an email from Venmo a out professional accounts and blocks unless I upgraded and it would cost $500. PayPal scam all over again. But I used a different email for the Venmo account so I knew this was fraud. I told Mary as much. Yeah. It would have been nice to sell a painting. I can certainly use the money but Mary and her ilk will burn in Hell. I pray for her or his unwitting victims. But the minute you have to pay to receive payment know its fraud. It should never cost you to sell your artvunless you have a legitimate agent. 

It's ern a long, long time...

 ...as the song goes.

When last I wrote about my joyous artistic experience with acrylic inks and paints and Neocolor 2 I was looking forward gallbladder removal, hernia repair and stoma relocation. I thought I would be healthy; take a mo th to recover and get back to art and the library. It did t work out that way.

It turned into readmission and it will be 2.5 month recovering. But that's now the worst of it. Once again I can't draw or paint; in fact have no desire. My arms and hands are weak. I suspect nerve damage  because of 4 blown out IVs.  I haven't been diagnosed because im not going to let anyone do anything to me. Its possible the condition will heal over time. I realize now what I blamed on Covid two plus years ago was probably the same thing. And I was nearly getting back my artistic mojo if you will. But this time is worse. Even my handwriting has suffered. 

Oh and the day before I came home, my older sister fell and hurt her shoulder so I have been  caring for her and myself with some help from family. Her surgery was yesterday so back to square 1. Sleeping on the sofa to near her is now a joy and rest is fleeting at best. 

If you've read this far thank for "hearing" me out. I promise that this is the last woe is me post, i hope. This afternoon im going g to take some time to experiment with loose watercolor painting. Ive been watching YouTube videos of painters who use a lot of water and let it, the water, do the work or the painting.

Wish me luck. 

When pigs fly

 

...and they're tired they skeep on large, fluffy clouds. 

In Sweden and China pigs are good luck. And once again, this painting was a joy. 

Using acrylic ink to create an evening sky with reds and oranges and whites and blues. Then I used Neocolor 2 crayons to paint the pig and fluff up the clouds. The video is in process and prints are available on Threadless for anyone who would enjoy having a sleeping pig on the wall.

 

So much fun!

 

I finished my painting. Well I told you that in my last post.  It was the most fun I've have in painting in years and I want to it again. I don't know why. Maybe it was the story. Maybe it was that there was a story. Maybe it's because in looking at the painting I can make up stories about how the ducks got be in the middle of the ocean. 

In this case, the ducks are lost at see with no idea how they got there. Kind of like me. My entire life feels thatway right now. My art for instance has been a year and a half long struggle getting back my skill. And in that time i lost the joy. But I have it back. In my story, rather than worrying or being afraid, my rubber ducks are having a great time bouncing on ocean waves, feeling the salty water splash into them. It's a party. 

All of my life I have been drawing and painting without seeing the story. Except for the storybooks I wrote.  Now I want to know the story. So now I understand at the age of 75 that there is more to the art than the images. There is a story to tell and even if it's only in my head it needs to be told. 

The video is up. I rushed it a bit but I shared the process and the fun. I will take more time with the next video.  Click HERE to see it.

I'm starting simply, with easy whimsical stories and maybe I'll get more detailed later or maybe I'll just keep the stories simple. I just don't know yet. I even bought a watercolor journal so I can do compostions to my projects. I never actually do well with art journals but I wanted to try again.

I'm having so much fun.

 

The first image is from my last blog. The next two are what I painted on the first. I will be painting more. I just don't know what. I'm having the time ever working on this piece and I don't want to stop. The rubber ducks lost at sea in a storm is my current life situation. Except its not.  These ducks are enjoying the neck out of the storm and the spray of salty water in their faces. They have no idea there's any danger. 

I'm so into this painting and the party its taking me to that I stopped worrying. I'm finally able paint again and I'm taking my time, !earning again and creating a world of whimsy all out of head. There will be a video and since I keep forgetting to record, it will be short. But I think what I have to say during the video is as important as the painting. Wee, you tell me after you see it, after I finish it.

I have no idea what I'm doing

 I was back to white on black and then graphite and then charcoal and now! Now I'm experimenting with acrylic ink after a failed attempt at Squeegee art. What I saw was that it wasn't a medium for representational art and a waste of paint. Now I'm back to creating a background from the inks and hoping to be able to add to the canvas board with the inks or neocolor2 or acrylic markers or all three.  

I'm completely bonkers in all things creative and I so want to find my vision as opposed to my voice. This week in the midst of work and appointments I'm hopeful that  I will be inspired in selection of media and find some direction. This week I just want to close down all social media outlets fir my art and forget it all. I have only the above photo to share.

Have to go. One of my day jobs is calling.

Art on black paper.

 This is the free hand drawing of two crows and the moon that I will be workin on this week. I really believe that I'm finally ready to give up tracing and griding once again. Freehand drawing is just so much mire satisfying.  Even the moon is freehand. I'd thought I would have to use a compass but I do believe om back. I'm also pleased that I'm not using a reference photo or photos. I'm not sure how the highlighting will turn out but I'm the only one who knows if there is ambient lighting.